In tflives.mp3 (2.2mb), Zoom and I casually chat on the subject of tf and its survival. (sounds from q3 and metallica) I use q3 sounds because now tf is being upgraded to include the futuristic features of q3. Some of the shit I've seen so far is awesome! The team is about ready now to hit the field in a game vs A. The emotions are running high. In tonights lineup we've got a powerhouse ready to smoke those slingers back home in the respawn. I get the feeling that the majority of A team interactions is going to be inside the respawn panicking over packs. Things are looking grim but its sure to be a great carvefest!

I can confirm that PnP have recruited Macca (aka Kolin) to their ranks to improve both the TF and DJ aspects of the clan. Welcome!

As usual, you can catch the standard Merc cry over on the OZTF forums, so head over there to see the pathetic whinging that we all love so much.

Today some ledgendary shit went down. It started off at about 10:30am with my hardon firmly pressed into the mattress realising it was infact just a dream I was having hot sex. So anyways, after getting ready quickly it was off for another journey. destination: umart milton. objectives: to seek and aquire an adsl modem/router for my new inner city pad journey log: 11:45am - I have just entered umart. I approached the front desk. it says "internet orders only please" I feel a sense of belonging in this line because I did infact order my parts over the internet . I get the feeling that they don't like human interactions too much. "whats your order number?" he commands. "I forgot it", i reply foolishly. "Well," he says with that nerdlike attitude you like to ram your fist through whenever it shows its face... "if you don't have your order number you have to take a seat and let 'these'(as he points to the other nerd rejects) take your order". I feel annoyed. I silently pull out a freshly pollished green grenade and begin to countdown. In a few seconds, this man is going to have a grenade rolled under his desk perfectly timed to explode just as it reaches him. 11:47 The grenade didn't go off. Either it didn't have one or I'm seriously lagged and delerious from a lack of sleep last night. 11:48 "Look man" I said with an authority which fills your shorts with hot shit at the same time filling your presence with an overall feeling of control and calmness "can you just look up my account id or something?" he got to work. Of course he did. I'm the motherfucking [PnP]Messiah you little bitch. 11:50 Invoices signed and I've got my new router. I head back to the train station. Inside as I walk past people on the street the little voice inside is going "hahaha look at you all little weak people compared to me and my new neatgear shit, fucking ownz whatever you think is good about you" 11:55 I've just purchased a ticket and sat down waiting for the train to arrive. There's a bunch of rough looking kids sitting around. I etherically leave my body and enter into their hearts and minds and bitch slap them around for a bit saying "yeah yeah who's the man! you've got fucken paint to sniff, i've got a new wireless shit fuckers!!!!" 11:56 I start reading over the box, which I've just realised up until now I actually haven't checked to see if its the right shit. OMG it fucking isn't! I stand up and yell loud enough so that umart can hear me 500meters away "You fucking cunts! This is just a router FFS" 11:57 I'm jumping down the milton railway stairs 2 at a time. Extra determined to mince some pussy arse this time. I'm fucking in the zone now boys. No grens are going to fail this round. I drop any items I don't need as I hit the main street. 11:59 [crossing the street] Reverse rocket jump and into a bunnyhop to avoid the traffic. The store is in my sights now. I chuck a nail gren into their deliveries section. "that'll fuckyas" 12:00 I re-enter the store. All eyes on me. You can feel the tension in the room. They've felt it before. That feeling of a dissatisfied customer coming back tempers flaring. That feeling of total ownage about to take place. That feeling so familiar for anyone who's ever played against PnP. 12:01 I take a quick look around surveying the best way to take everybody down. I rotate my weapns. A mini gun? Hmm, nice but messy. Ahh, the shotgun! direct and explosive. I pull the baby out and line it up but before I get the opportunity to shoot, there's a distraction. Like a change in the matrix. I can feel it. I shift in the room takes place. The door is behind me. It opens. 12:02 I know a master has entered the room. I turn around. I look at what he's carrying. Its a harddrive. This can only mean one thing. Faulty product. He's an Ally! I look up at his face and you wouldn't believe who it was.... You guess wrong! It was [PnP]Vlad !!!!! "Holy jesus christ" I yelled "Its the motherfucking michael jordon of teamfortress" Jaws dropped. A breathless gasping sound is all that can be heard as everybody looks in awe at the man who put the "thats impossible" (matrix style) into tf. There was too much blood for me to read what else was written down on the journey log. But it was truly a mincing those boys will never forget.

Coinz messaged me yesterday with the idea of an international TF tournament comprising of teams from Europe, USA, Brazil and Australia. Games would probably be played on the US West Coast, which would be about a 200 ping for those on the East Coast of Australia. With the current OZTF competition going through the motions, I think people might be up for something a bit different. Probably the best way to run a competition like this would be to have the normal clans for OZTF as they are now, but combine clans for an international tournament. For example, PnP playing OZTF as PnP, but joining with some other Aussie clan to get numbers on a consistent basis. I think this would probably be needed because games will be played at unusual times due to time differences and it would be almost impossible for current clans to get numbers on their own. If this happened Australia could probably put forward 3 or 4 clans, which would bring the total clans to around 10 or 11 with USA, Europe, Brazil making up the rest. The games would be played using TF 2.9 settings because it’s the standard in the other countries. Why an international competition? A challenge – I think that an international tournament would be a bit of a challenge for those who are finding TF pretty predictable. People don’t really seem to think much anymore but I think playing as HPB’s again could make it a bit more interesting and less predictable e.g. soldiers won’t dominate on a 200 ping compared to a 16 ping. TF 2.9 settings – Games would be played using the PURE TF settings of TF 2.9. A chance to take on the world! – Lots of talking about who is the best country but there currently isn’t much to back up all the talking! Help TF interest here and overseas – Europe/ USA in particular don’t have much of a clan scene any more so something like this could help them stay alive. The Barriers The time difference – This is probably the biggest barrier to running a good international tournament due to large time differences between the four different continents. Ping – Some people might not want to bother playing with a ping of over 50. Setting up/ running – Servers could be a problem with people being awake/asleep and unable to setup appropriate servers. Interest? This is just an idea by Coinz, as far as I know nothing has really be organised or thought about in much detail because interest isn’t really known at the moment. Would people be interested in a tournament like this? Comment!

-MadMike- Dear Michael,
-MadMike- I hope you will have a wonderful Xmas. I wish you an happy and very
-MadMike- sucessful new year 2000.
-MadMike- With much love,
-MadMike- Dominique
-MadMike- WOOOOT!!!!
-Fat_Boy- who the fuck?
-MadMike- My French ex
-Fat_Boy- ooooooooooooooooooooh
-Fat_Boy- did she have hairy armpits?
-MadMike- She's 28 now....and she did not have hairy pits.
-Fat_Boy- ok
-MadMike- She had a TIGHT BOX THOUGH.
-MadMike- Couldn't shag the first time cause she was all tensed up...couldn't feed it in hose style.

and...

-22:53- (@Lev): "...and then...fatboy punched me in the kideys...but it's cool....cause we're surf buddies sorta."

Beer on Valentines Day - (@raver): im gunna go suck on a peice of dodgey cooking chocolate and squish it onto a scrappy peice of paper in pink writing "WANNA FUCK? (@raver): pop it in beths mailbox

(@MadMike): Cause last night I blew three times..... (@sandzb): 3 is nothing :P (@Fat_Boy): we're not talking about wanking sandz

-22:21- (@raver): sifnt get webcam, find me tomorrow morning with my hand on my cock in a pool of my own seamen

-21:44- (@sandz): now boys lets settle this like fv.. a backgammon tournament.. best of 3, if that fails first one to compile the kernel wins

(@EMHaitcH): edonkey is good (@EMHaitcH): yeye (@EMHaitcH): FUCK OFF (@EMHaitcH): FUCK (@EMHaitcH): edonkey (@EMHaitcH): FUCK OFF

Played a pug last night. I thought I would get picked first. I got picked last. It seems I had higher expectations of the public opinion towards me. Actually I sat there going "Holy shit, I hope these crazy hardcore players don't expect anything of me!!!" Round after round into the ramp room on 2fort5. Absolutely wootskified. I felt like I was the object of affection however to wootski's rocket. Maybe the object of distraction to EB and my other fast paced predatorial teammates who I may have blocked and cussed accidently. My trippgger happy finger accidently shot a few enemy attackers on the bridge without causing too much stink. I tried Pestilence's logitech mx 310 last night. Same mice as Toules. Same mice as Zoom. I like to use the same equipment as other PnP ledgends. It was light. Fast. PnP have a history of using the same equipment. Wanna talk about yours?

The pictures used in Server Spy have just been sexified!!!

#plugnplay - pnp's top secret channel last night enjoyed the company of (old-school-played-a-clan-game-every-night-for-several-years) dixon brothers, [PnP]Adix and [PnP]Helmet for the first time in a long time but not that I'd know really either because I haven't been around for a long time either but I am in the know, you know? Adix and Helmet were solid rocks in the unpassable PnP defensive barracade you all have become familiar with. PnP and Teamfortress. Its like Tally-ho's and cigerette papers. Thats a bit of a diversion from the topic there. But PnP rule and never miss the opportunity to rub it in to get the fires burning. Back to the topic, when Adix and Helmet had the defense, the enemies attack was like trying to filter thick oil through coffee filters. Impossible. Good to see you guys back. Yes, the teamfortress scene is going strong. Getting stronger day by day. There's some major developments in the works with the new project "Global TF" set to hit the stage later this year. I'm going to be releasing some promotional shit to share what these geniuses working on the mod are bringing about. I've been a little inactive for a while, but I've got an ego that'd make the marketing team at valve shake in their little uggboots. TF is the game. Stick with it. Things are still only getting started. The fog will clear. A new balance will be found. The game will continue. Things can only get better.

I was going to do a review at the end of the season but then realised that so much shit has gone on that I would have to split it up before it became a novel. This review is too assist those people so they don't have to trawl through the forums to understand what's going on. Incidents worthy of mention Mks fakenicking as SSJ – not really an incident when you consider how much REALLY GAY STUFF has gone on, so doesn’t really deserve any more comment. Torn flooding Zut – the gayest of the gay incidents to have occurred so far. Most people would be aware of the denial, followed by undeniable proof, more denial and finally admitting. This was the start of the end of the competition. Torn got suspended for 3 weeks. Luckily, he will be back for the game vs PnP. WM “accidentally” banning Merc in OZTF excel game – Another clan A incident where Merc was kicked during the start of their excel OZTF game. Then we saw A rush out to an early lead while Merc was blowing up. Torn claiming bLIP flooded him – bLIP proved that torn was full of shit (if it hadn’t been proven already) by showing it wasn’t possible for what he was claiming to be true. Next time you accuse someone of flooding it might be better to not accuse one of the most knowledgeable people in TF. Clan A trying to use Kod as a slut – another one that can go down in the clan A collection. Here, A were cut about the admins not allowing Kod to join for a day and play. They then had a cry because the admins disallowed this loophole crap. Sandz quitting PnP/ OZTF admin – Sandz got angry and snapped, been talked about enough. Badboy not happy – isn’t gay enough to warrant further explanation, see toules tf lesson #1 for more info. NFI/FP merging, new clan P2W (fake xf) – Not really a surprise, it’s hard trying to run one of the clans towards the bottom of the ladder, but still disappointing the way it’s worked out. Why is this season so bad? 1. Players To me it is the players that have taken all enjoyment out of the game, not the admins or the actual game. People don’t seem to realise that something stupid has to be done by the players before admins are required to be involved. Therefore, if players would stop doing STUPID SHIT the admins could just idle in their channel like they used to do. I don’t think I can recall a time when the players were as gay/annoying/whiny as they are now, or even a time when the TF community as a whole was this bad. 2. Clan A The common factor in many of these incidents mentioned. Let’s face it, they are easily the gayest clan in the history of TF. But why are the suddenly more gay than before? My theory is that because the skill level in TF is so bad at the moment (ie. Most of the players/clans with a clue have left or hardly play), this allows clan A to be towards the top. I think these incidents like sabotaging other comp games and trying to use loopholes are because they are desperate to be at the top but aren’t good enough to do it on their own skill. Even on the forums I’ve seen A bagging out CFZ for having a close game with NFI (even though they had 7 players). Clan A used to be a lot quieter when the level of TF was higher, funny that. 3. Admin Structure The admin structure clearly isn’t effective, but admins only come into it up after the players/clans themselves do something stupid. If you don’t have the morons, the admins aren’t really that important. In the previous OZTF comps there would of maybe been only one or two incidents on a very small scale each season, meaning admins didn’t have to decide on much. There are too many admins and not all of them know enough of what is going on. It’s too hard making decisions when anywhere more than three or four people are involved. Last year people cried because they thought admins were unfair. Now that they have got their way, they also cry! I didn’t think people were stupid enough to think that a rep from each clan would result in better decisions. Mid season predictions on places Before comp started I predicted: 1st PnP 2nd J 3rd A 4th CFZ 5th FV 6th AP 7th FP 8th NFI Looks like I overrated A and CFZ and underrated FV. I now think FV will finish 3rd and A will scrape in at 4th. No idea what’s will happen towards the bottom with all these changes in clans and stuff. Predictions about 10 things that would happen this OZTF Yep, already happened #8 Someone’s dark past will be revealed – Torn’s ping flooding past coming back to haunt him in the form of IRC logs! #7 Some clown will continue talking on OZTF forums when they don’t even play tf and/or have no idea what they are talking about – Bee has come back to the forums, clan A defense of pingflooding fits here. #5 A clan will do something lame and claim there is no rule against it – Kod slutting for Clan A. #4 Some dispute about playing rules will come up and dominate forums - Kod slutting for Clan A, WM wanting to play when banned, crying over one week off after changing clans. #3 One clan will die by the end of the season – NFI and FP, unfortunately it wasn’t the one clan that we all wanted to die. #1 Some controversy involving Sandz - lol Arguable #9 A clan will pull off an upset victory – FV beating PnP on a map was a bit of a upset, but I think the real upsets will come in the next 3 games with A playing some of the better clans. Not yet #10 Sin will win a game with a left cap and bask in the glory – Still plenty of games to go Nige, you can do it #6 A clan will have the same map picked against them every week and lose - Early signs this may be about to develop with J and CZ. #2 Some well known player will leave a clan to join another at finals time – doubt the competition will live to see finals. The Second Half Does anyone actually feel like playing the second half of the season? I know a lot of the PnP guys couldn’t be bothered finishing this season (me included) because it’s just not enjoyable. I think it would be wise if each member of the TF community donated cash to Clan A so they could buy new computers to play Doom 3 and never bother with TF again. You may think I’m being harsh on clan A, but looking at all the stuff that has happened in 8 weeks, Clan A seem to come up a lot. The highly respected OZTF competition awards will be announced at the completion of the competition (which will probably be next week when the comp dies).